"Though I speak wtih the tongues of men and of angels, If i have not charity I am become a sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge; and though I have all faith so that I can remove mountains and have not charity I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned and have not charity it profiteth me nothing

Charity suffereth long and is kind, charity envieth not charity vaunteth not itself , is not puffed up

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, not easily provoked thinketh no evil

Rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth

Bareth all things believeth all things, hopeth all things endureth all things

Charity never faileth; but whether there be prophecies they shall fail; whether there are tongues they shall cease; whether there is knowledge it shall vanish away

For we know in part and we prophecy in part

But then that which is perfect is come then that which is in part shall be done away

When I was a child I spake as a child. I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things

For now we se through a glass darkly, but face to face; now I know in part but then shall I know even as I am known

And now abideth faith, hope and charity these three but the greatest of these is charity"

I Corinthians 13 .



My favourite bible verse, if I were to get married I would want it read. I had to recite it often as a child and at the time I didn't realise that these words would guide me through life, thus far anyway. Charity has many definitions and among them is love. Its funny because even as I type I realise that if all this is true I have never known love. Not the love it describes anyway, a love that is non judgemental and unselfish. Maybe this love is only of God.

God is such a sensitive topic for me, I see his hand in my life but often wonder that it could possibly be that he has been preparing me for... all these lessons, and failures, for what?

Back to love...
I have been in something that resembles love before, my thoughts seemed incomplete perhaps if somehow they didn't concern him. I promise never to love like that again. And now I find myself slipping slowly, and with much fighting and screaming, into something new. Where I have to acknowledge flaws especially my own... the way I viewed people and the situations I thought I'd never get into and my way of passing judgement without even a hint of what was really going on. Ignorance, I guess. But in my something new I find myself trying (actively) to break habits I formed over time that totally did not work for me, habits that were ultimately the reason the something that resembled love really wasn't love at all...
But I want that love they speak about, the one that endureth all things. I'll whisper a prayer.