People I guess.

Sometime I wonder where the time went... I mean its like I came home from a party and barely made it up the stairs before the sun was in my bedroom, fell asleep and woke up years later. I went through a phase where I was fairly popular and there wasn't a pan knocking and I wasn't there, now... now I get "Bombaat Chella! Is when you fly in?" Through all that time I've made some new friends, lost some good ones, replaced some fake ones and I am now left with a small group of people that I know will see me through anything life can throw at me.

Its funny how some people you expect to be there forever somehow fade into oblivion when the sky gets dark and even funnier the ones you didn't expect to play any major role come and scrape you off the floor.

Alot of people grow up in a community and don't know their neighbours, my case is the complete opposite. We ALL ran up and down in the other ones house, ate dinner at the house who's menu sounded the best, all the mothers were willing to dress anyone's chipped knee and we never got in trouble alone. We were all a big family. Somewhere along the line the foundation of the friendships started to rot away and even though we'd all still go out together, everyone grew up and out and it never became apparent to me until I was involved in the nastiest break up I will ever be in. It was ugly and messy; he and I were so close for so long that I didn't know what life would have been like without him, I mean I couldn't picture not being able to call him to tell him how horrible a day I was having, the whole concept eluded me. I thought that if we ever did call it quits for good we could still be friends, silly, I know. I guess since he was one of "the brothers" they all decided to trun there back to the situation and didn't even realise I was not-so slowly slipping into a depression that ultimately contributed to me not even wanting to leave my room let alone my house. With everything though, my phone would bring and it would be my parrie from school and he was always up to chillin', we watched tv for hours and ate pizza and he never asked why I didn't go out anymore, but he was there. Brendan, you're a star! I don't even think he knew how depressed I was, or maybe he did and didn't bother to try to address it.
When I finally decided I spent too much time sad one of "the brothers" went rogue and decided to ask me what exactly happened why I changed so much. He asked and I told him and loved and respected him more for even asking even if it took him long, Deno you will always have a special place in my heart and my respect for you will always be a little more than the rest, simply because you cared.

" New broom sweep clean but ol' broom know di corna."

Ava and I met at a birthday weekend celebration in 1st form and even though we didn't even go to the same high school its like we were always together. Literally if I bucked my toe Ava would know because I would call her and tell her and she'd know where I was and what I was doing when I bucked my toe, if it was bleeding, everything. She trully is my sister I tell her everything and even though we aren't in the geographically close anymore all those miles still can't prevent me from telling her about that guy I met or how tired I am of adding numbers at work. My sister for live.

" There are sistrens and then there are sistrens"

P-K, and Sash if for nothing else they have provided ears to listen one for a little longer but both without judgement or ridicule.


I'm stronger for them and more rounded for the people I chose to keep around. I'm calmer and more focused, but most of all they taught me that people will always show you what role their willing to play in your life and find the lesson they were there to teach you.

Reporting the news... LOL

Ok so I have some good news, some bad news and some duh news.

The good news is two of my grandmother's tests came back with no signs of cancer in her abdomen or bones so its isolated. PRAISE THE LORD!

More good news I'm going to the beach today, just me and mommy. I hope she doesn't try to get too presonal, yes she is my mother and all but there are some things I rather not discuss with her. If I was comfortable enough to tell her everything why would I need friends?

Some bad news, I don't know how they did it but somehow my cousin in Atlanta fell in a step class and broke her foot in two places, and then my uncle ups her by falling off a chair breaking his nose and chin and chipping a tooth... all in the space of a week or so. I think someone took us to a "modda ooman." Salt eeh?

And the duh news, I love love love my ex-boyfriend, the more I "date" the more I come to the realisation of how much of a CATASTROPHIC mistake I made breaking up with him. I won't tell him because I think the relationship we have right is what he wants, really great friends. We tell eachother everything ( I probably shouldn't tell him about all these losers I've been seeing since we broke up... oops!) I miss him and I really wish the situation was different, maybe if he was here or I was there. I love him all the same, and cannot wait to see him when he comes down in August.