Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Two Thousand Ten and Men

First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! I hope the clock striking 12 found you doing something you love with the people who count, me, it found with a cake plate of chinese spicy noodles and sweet and sour chicken and music blaring.
When I decided to start writing I made a conscious decision not to make it about men. To be honest, lately their importance has dwindled. I found so many other things to get into, things that will add to me, that most of the time I don't miss not having one but I stray.
Recently I spoke to one of my exes and he asked me what was going on with me "guy wise." When I told him that nothing was really going on, and that I thought there and just a few decent men left and the abundance of these female harbour sharks makes it too hard to even bother so I stopped looking he laughed, and when he realized I wasn't laughing with him the laughing simmered to a chuckle. I went on to explain to him that in my experience the "good" men are taken and since I'm not into the sharing that isn't and option, besides if the guy is any good for real he wouldn't be into the "juggling." He then said, and really this statement summarizes the reality that was our relationship, "well Chella, I dont know what to tell you, I guess you're going to be single then," seriously...
Ok so I get it, some of us as females have our standards set so high that it would be hard to find someone of that calibre it isn't impossible ( I'd hate to think its impossible) but if you were to stick to your guns, you'd have many lonely nights. I also am well aware that some of us carry around so much baggage that it makes it hard to really see a situation for what it is because of this haze of mistrust and that knot in your stomach that forms from fear of the familiar (this I KNOW I am guilty of).
If it were for sex alone, this game would be a whole lot different, you'd jus' boots up and cross your fingers that homeboy knows what he's doing and actually I don't know, takes some pride and isn't only after his own pleasure. Guys, in general, like that game a lot. They sometimes try to turn other situations into that game. But no, it is not for sex alone, at least in my case which makes it that much more difficult for me. So this year, like last year and even the year before that, I'm going to see what happens and have the men fall as they may.