Pussy Principles

Now, many of you guys know me on a personal level, we've had conversations you guys know what I'll put up with and what I wont. You know this is my venting spot and where I can"talk di tings" so if you don't like what I'm about to say you can hit that little red x at the top right hand corner of the page.Let me strongly suggest you read it through though.

Pussy Principles

Pussy Principles can be defined as a set of rules you follow as a woman to keep a peaceful relationship, a peaceful life and generally healthy relationships with the people around you including your friends, parents and associates because we all know relationships overlap and what is going sour in one may just spoil everything. These are things people really shouldn't have to tell you because deep down you know you're wrong and no matter what you told yourself while it was going on you know you were lying to yourself.

Allow me to expand:

When you are in a sensible, stable relationship DO NOT entertain other "offers." Yes the attention is nice and everyone likes to be admired but for the sake of all that is good and right don't call new guy to ask him to keep your company because you're bored or lonely or just because you have a phone and can, you know you're leading him on and you just going to make things worse for all involved. If you know you're not going to let it get any further than the flirting why bother rock your nice stable boat, and if you see it going further leave your boyfriend first and give yourself some time to "air." We all know the fable about the dog who drowned chasing the reflection of a bone he already had... Don't be that bitch!

Nobody likes the "ugly duckling" syndrome. I know your beauty may astound you at times. maybe your even new pretty, but fishing for compliments isn't attractive honey. You're gorgeous, move on.

Don't get yourself attached to an unavailable man. You know how it ends, you crying in your bed because he didn't call or didn't leave her or didn't see what the big deal is about playing FIFA with the guys on your birthday is about... if he just isn't doing what he promised he would the stress of you crying over it is a waste of energy. Don't cry to your girls either because chances are they told you to run from get go and it gets real old real fast.

Don't pick fights you can't win, not with your friends and not with your man. I don't think I need to elaborate on that one its self explanatory.

Don't ask for things you know you don't want. If you don't want to know if he's cheating and if you're not prepared to tell him how you got the information you have gotten don't go searching his stuff. Don't go through the phones/email/text messages/voice mail if you are not prepared to face the music.

Do not "look" the guy your friend is "looking", if she's your good friend makes matters worse. There is an underlying understanding, no its not all fair in love and war, it may seem so at first but honey, if you push too hard the claws may come out and if you know your file is fat don't run the risk of it being let out. We girls fight so dirty at times.

Do not believe that your friend should tell you you are wrong about anything. You have a brain and a conscience, and you we're raised by good upstanding people don't embarrass yourself and then wonder why nobody said anything to you chances are the boat was sinking so fast that no amount of them paddling the water out would have saved you from making the mistake you made. Besides, especially when it comes to relationships no matter what your friends are telling you you were going to do what you want to do anyway.

Really, pussy principles is about being graceful and taking everything into consideration before making stupid moves. It forces you to take a good long look at things as they stand and be objective about the repercussions of the things you may or may not be doing subconsciously. There are more to follow so stay tuned...

Chelle

Two Thousand Ten and Men

First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! I hope the clock striking 12 found you doing something you love with the people who count, me, it found with a cake plate of chinese spicy noodles and sweet and sour chicken and music blaring.

When I decided to start writing I made a conscious decision not to make it about men. To be honest, lately their importance has dwindled. I found so many other things to get into, things that will add to me, that most of the time I don't miss not having one but I stray.

Recently I spoke to one of my exes and he asked me what was going on with me "guy wise." When I told him that nothing was really going on, and that I thought there and just a few decent men left and the abundance of these female harbour sharks makes it too hard to even bother so I stopped looking he laughed, and when he realized I wasn't laughing with him the laughing simmered to a chuckle. I went on to explain to him that in my experience the "good" men are taken and since I'm not into the sharing that isn't and option, besides if the guy is any good for real he wouldn't be into the "juggling." He then said, and really this statement summarizes the reality that was our relationship, "well Chella, I dont know what to tell you, I guess you're going to be single then," seriously...

Ok so I get it, some of us as females have our standards set so high that it would be hard to find someone of that calibre it isn't impossible ( I'd hate to think its impossible) but if you were to stick to your guns, you'd have many lonely nights. I also am well aware that some of us carry around so much baggage that it makes it hard to really see a situation for what it is because of this haze of mistrust and that knot in your stomach that forms from fear of the familiar (this I KNOW I am guilty of).

If it were for sex alone, this game would be a whole lot different, you'd jus' boots up and cross your fingers that homeboy knows what he's doing and actually I don't know, takes some pride and isn't only after his own pleasure. Guys, in general, like that game a lot. They sometimes try to turn other situations into that game. But no, it is not for sex alone, at least in my case which makes it that much more difficult for me. So this year, like last year and even the year before that, I'm going to see what happens and have the men fall as they may.

Around the corner.

So tomorrow will make it one week before I turn 25, and I have to admit I'm not where I thought I'd be. If you asked me 10 years ago I would have told you that by the time I reach 25, I'd be working in a Marketing firm or up and coming company, married to the love of my life maybe even thinking about having a baby. Alas, here comes 25 and I will prove myself dead wrong.

I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad about not being some Marketing Manager because I could have had that but I wouldn't be happy. As for the marriage... I don't even know if marriage in on the table for me. Lots of issues to work through I guess, and since men are such a sore spot for me the babies may be another feat.

Instead, I have no idea how I am going to spend it or even with whom. Somehow I already know it isn't going to turn out the way i want it to. My birthday are becoming to be more and more of a burden than anything else, I used to get so excited wake up in the morning and put on a tiara and just bask in the love I was getting from my friends. Now celebrating my birthday has become a chore and I hate that it has. I loved the excitement; even if all I did was sit at home smiling to myself.

My biggest fear is that I've disappointed people I love. I'm pretty sure my family and friends thought that I would have had a different life than the one I live now. I'm still a work in progress I guess. Don't start bugging yet this isn't a mid life crisis, and even if it was I dont think they'd call it a midlife crisis. I'm pretty sure you'd have to be atleast 40 to have one of those and I will DEFINITELY have things sorted out my then. New goals and new adventures are still to come. But isn't it funny how we think we have it all sorted out when we're younger and things never play out the way you thought it would.

Open Doors

“I stood there is total amazement wondering if my eyes were deceiving me,” she said as she told me the story. “Can you believe that?”

Tina walked down the hall and into her living room when it suddenly dawned on her that she didn’t use her key to open the door. She quickly turned back to check the door; no signs of forced entry. She thought for a moment maybe her sister had left the door open in one of her hasty flights from the house. She thought to herself it’s a wonder she remembers to put clothes on before she leaves. Nothing seemed suspicious at first, as she took her heels off and headed to her bedroom, she was dying to get out of her work clothes and into her nightshirt and bed slippers. She had a book she was half way through and was dying to know how the story ended. She jumped out of the shower and into her nightshirt, her favourite, a man’s shirt that seemed to be made for an American football player and not for someone as petite as she.

She made her way down stairs into the kitchen when she realised that the kitchen door was ajar as well. In a panic she hurriedly bolted the door and called her sister. The phone rang a few times but to no answer. She tried again but to no avail. At that time she decided maybe she should put some pants on and leave the house, it would be of no use to stay there and be so scared and all alone at that. She ran upstairs and pulled on a pair of blue jeans she had owned since college, pulled her hair into a ponytail, grabbed her keys and headed to the door.

“Tina!” her sister screamed from the darkness with frustration in her voice. Tina spun with such momentum that she flung her hands around and hit a vase from the hall table. She carefully followed little giggles and shuffles until she found herself back at the kitchen door. She pulled the door slowly and realised candles lined the walk way to the patio and as she followed them. “Surprise!” There they were; most of her friends from work, her family and some of the girls she went to school with. “Happy Birthday, Tina!” and out came the cake. “We were pretty sure you were on to us” said her sister, “I thought for sure we were busted when you realised that the kitchen door was open but how else would everyone get in the back yard?” She was so engrossed in her surprise party she didn’t even realise she was still in her nightshirt and bed slippers.

There you go guys... my first short story :)

Puzzle pieces

I think I'm waiting on for something to happen
I can feel the pressure in my lungs building to crescendo,
This patience is new to me I was never one to wait,
But I'll wait

This is ridiculous,
I don't even know what I'm waiting for or what my response should be.
I've always been one to run scenarios through my mind
How do you plan for the unknown?
Still waiting

I know there is a plan for me, someone has it,
But who?
Where is it?
Impatiently waiting...

Sometime it gets so quiet around me when I work on this puzzle,
I'm not even sure I have all the pieces.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANDI!

Yesterday I was on messenger and glanced over at the calendar and realised that today would have been my friend Nandi's birthday. Today she would have been 26 years old. Young; I can remember her laugh and how it seemed to come from her toes. My friend.
She died in 2002, the seven years flew I didnt even realise it was seven years already. Its almost like since she died I've buried someone either close to me or someone close to someone I am close to. Who would have tought I would start losing friends too soon, she was so young. Cancer is a bitch. I think about her and how she changed her life in the end. She was so strong.
Nandi, I miss you my sister. I hope your rest is peaceful. I love you.

Updates

Ok, so I know i've been M.I.A for a while now, I appologise. Let me tell you what has been busying me.

I am back at school! I know you're smiling and thinking, "finally she has gotten her act together" and you would be right. I don't think I have been so focused schoolwise ever. When I get home I do my homework immediately ( to the point where sometimes I even forget I got homework), I read over my notes from the class, I even read extra. Now the extra reading is actually in an attempt to keep my lecturers on course because there are some people in my class that if you give them the chance they will lead the lecturer so far from the point that you dont even remember what they were talking about in the first place.

Oh and my ankle is better. I twisted it during orientation which was more like bootcamp if you ask me and jus made it more obvious that I just need to keep my chin low and keep swinging if I plan to get through school. Idiots abound!

I met someone but cut him off. They really dont make guys like they used to...

Whatelse hmmm.... I got my laptop Yay! Its pretty and I loves it!

I made four new friends at school all of whom I have adopted as my children, i make sure they understand what is going on in the class, one of them tore the ligament in her knee so I usually help her around. We sit together all the time and we never get to be in the same group... sucks because I think they are serious about working too. I ALWAYS GET STUCK IN A GROUP WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO WORK!!! It's crazy, I dont know how it happens to me I even ended up in a Social Studies group with the resident psycho but that is a total different blog all together.

So see I wasn't just sitting around doing nothing and ignoring you. I was busy and ignoring you! Hope that makes you feel better.
Kisses!